Without love
by Taeryfai
Summary: what do I have? A Sakura fic I promised xximiexx to apologize for my bashing, it turned out slightly depressing though. COMPLETED


A Sakura Fanfic which I promised xximiexx to apologize for my bashing, it turned out slightly depressing though but Sakura seems nice...? :(

Have you ever been in love? The whole heart beating so fast it may escape from your chest; the face flushed every time you saw him/her; the butterflies somersaulting in your stomach, the tingly feeling every time you touched, love. The, you'll die for them several times over; kill anyone who hurts them love. I have, in fact I am still caught in a state of deep, uncontrollable and unconditional love. It's the same boy, or rather he's a man now. It had always been him, the fascinating raven with the sad, angry eyes which were so expressive and oh so deep, it was like you were drowning just looking into them. His eyes had always contradicted his cold attitude which shielded him from everyone and the world. He was a mystery and I loved him for it, I loved how you had to travel deep into his soul in order to read him which was near impossible with all his defences. I would - **will **– do anything for him, I gave up my best friend for him, I gave up my dignity and pride. I know I came out as a harsh bitch sometimes, especially around Naruto. I'm sorry about that but how else am I supposed to hide the sorrow of rejection and stay loyal to Sasuke? I could not have his affection, I would be betraying Sasuke. It hurt, you know, it hurt to be ignored and when no being ignored... scorned for your faithfulness, sneered at, and being called annoying. But I could cope; I was strong, mentally definitely but physically... not so much. I tried to work on that and my skills as a shinobi but I was held back. Some where inside of me I did not want to be stronger, useful yes but I _**wanted **_to rescued by him, I _**wanted **_to be the damsel in distress. It made him acknowledge me even if it was for the wrong reasons. Also I did not want to become a strong shinobi with little emotions, heartless, if I did not have my love what else did I have? Nothing... I was nothing without my love. But none the less I trained just so I was not too behind; I could not have him leave me behind, but I did not train too hard, I mean what if I surpassed him? I could do it if I wanted to, I knew I could but I understood Sasuke _needed _to be the best. To kill Itachi, he _**had **_to be the best and I understood that he'll do anything to be it, so in a way I guess I was the only one who really knew him in Konoha. I guess that was why I had not been surprised when he left even despite my trying to convince him to stay. I was sad, mind-numbingly sad yes, but surprised... can't say I was. But the way he had said no and left me on an actual bench rather than the ground gave me hope that somewhere, somewhere in his heart he cared for me. This leads me to my next question, has your love been requited? Mine hasn't, in fact I now believe that he never had, does or will love me. It hurts, it hurts like hell. It's a mind numbing hurt which pierces me straight through the heart like a kunai when I see him with someone else but as time passes it fades. But it's still there; it'll never go away it will always stay there lurking in the background, hurting, after all my love will never be requited after all I'm not Sasuke's type. He likes men, and I'm definitely female, but I'll be okay as long as he's happy, I'll survive. If someone dares to hurt him, I'll hunt them down and slaughter them as I love him and that's what you do for the people you love. I did it before; I guess my love does give me strength after all, isn't it ironic that it's the thing destroying me? It's not like I can fall in love with any on else because I could only love Sasuke, my heart existed sorely for him and him only. It was a cruel, twisted act of fate which had made his heart for someone else entirely. I know two major facts, my name is Haruno Sakura and I love Uchiha Sasuke and when he dies, I'm jumping straight into hell after him.


End file.
